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Why do we look better in the mirror reddit

Kind of a twisted thing, if you ask me. But look in the mirror I do, and often shake my head at what I see there. How harshly do you judge your own features? How much of your body from the neck up do you try to hide under a comb-over or makeup?

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Why You Look Better In The Mirror Than In Pictures

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Why You Look Better in Real Life Than in Pictures (and How To FIX IT)

Experts Explain Why We Always Look Better in the Mirror

Kind of a twisted thing, if you ask me. But look in the mirror I do, and often shake my head at what I see there. How harshly do you judge your own features?

How much of your body from the neck up do you try to hide under a comb-over or makeup? We can remove at least some of that judgment from our reflections with — appropriately enough — some self-reflection. Do you have a favorite mirror? You know, a mirror where you think you look like your real self. Hey, I get up around 3 a. You see, we all maintain an illusion of what we think we look like. Shattering illusions is painful and best avoided whenever possible. Is it any wonder that filters are popular for selfie images?

They need to see us as we imagine ourselves to be. Or, perhaps, we try to forget. I was at a high school class reunion once, sitting at a table with three women.

Mind you, this was a year reunion, so time had definitely been marching on. One of the women remarked that most of the guys had let themselves go, while the women were looking pretty good. What you see is what you get. Would any of you be willing to come to this reunion without wearing any makeup or hair coloring? But the conversation made me think. But the more I considered the issue, the more I realized that I was wrong: the men were actually altering their appearances much more than the women.

The woman had been right…the guys were looking rather unhealthy. And then I tell you to click and read them anyway… for additional, slightly off topic but still interesting stuff.

Go ahead, try it. Here are two typical American adults. Otherwise, illustration becomes a profanity-laced experience in frustration. The man in this illustration is actually me. Sort of. More on that in a bit, but first we need to see the man and woman in their natural state.

But notice something: the woman actually has little to do to go from the hairy version to the cleaned-up version. So men have a ton of work to do to keep up with modern appearance standards. A man who has reverted to his natural state looks rather untamed, as we all know from watching the Tom Hanks movie Castaway. Take it from someone who manages his hair diligently — all of his hair — it takes a lot of work.

It drives me crazy to have it unmanaged, and I have felt this way for decades. I suspect it is tied to my OCD tendencies. Opens in new window or tab. You see, women talk about altering their appearances, openly and honestly acknowledging it. They scrape away behind locked bathroom doors, then sigh and roll their eyes out in public when women take a moment to apply more lip gloss.

Well, this has been interesting. But lest we forget my point, here it is: No one is satisfied with their natural appearance. We all change it in some way, some more than others. What are we afraid of? What are we hiding? Or hiding from? We look in mirrors because we know others are looking. We judge because we think others are judging.

The mirror is, in essence, a stand-in for all those people we expose ourselves to all day long. The onslaught of modern media and marketing is a huge contributor to our low body-esteem, of course. But I think media is a multiplier of underlying issues, rather than the foundation of the problem. What is the underlying reason for this intense criticism of how our features look? Is it part of our human nature?

Think about this: billions of humans and almost-humans never once saw how their own faces looked. Imagine not being able to observe what color the hair on your own head is until you grow it out long enough to pull in front of your eyes. To never see the ravages of smallpox on your own face. Or the scars that ring your neck from a too-close encounter with a cranky animal.

When was the last time you tried to see your reflection in water? Go ahead: run a sink full of water and try to get the light just right so you can see your reflection.

Or wait for a rainstorm and see how well you can make out your features in a puddle. Mother Nature does not cooperate with our vanity.

The wind has to be just right to make for smooth water. The sun has to be at the correct angle. The water has to be clear. You are a bushman of the Kalahari Desert. Your only potential reflection source is a muddy watering hole you share with animals. Conditions might be perfect for you to catch a blurry glimpse of yourself once — maybe — in your entire life. My method involved putting magic marker dots on various spots, then seeing if I could see the spots from other angles.

And I think that from the beginning, we have been mistaken about the attention we receive from others. As I said above, the problem is empathy gone wrong.

There could have been all kinds of reasons people were friendly to us that had nothing to do with our looks:. But as soon as mirrors came into existence, we focused on just one primary reason our looks that our peers, friends, and even our families treated us nicely. The opposite was also the case: the reason behind people not being friendly to us could well have been based on:.

But who wants to admit to any of those defects? What if most people have never been judging you on your looks when it comes to the things that matter? Once you get beyond reproduction, most people — certainly the enlightened people reading this article — are looking for more.

Humans have X-ray vision sort of Greater acceptance of your own appearance hinges on the human capacity to see deeper than the surface of the skin. Of course not. You are looking deeper than their skin to see the person underneath. In other words: X-ray vision. Or, as I mentioned above, seeing with empathy, not judgment. Unlike Superman, our X-ray vision is not instant. It takes patience and a little time to see below the surface. And you usually must engage with someone to activate it.

How can you tune up your own X-ray vision to see yourself less judgmentally when you look in the mirror?

The best way to accept the person you see in the mirror is to practice seeing others without judgment based on their physical appearance. Yeah, yeah, I know. But diminishing other-judgment is crucial for diminishing your own self-judgment. Let me give you a question to ponder:. And now my second question: how can we convince other people to look beneath the surface of our features to see the real human underneath?

The answer to that is rather easy. To avoid having your appearance judged and found lacking, you must step out of the limelight and place the other person or people in it.

How do you put the spotlight on someone else while remaining engaged with them? For this, we use our old friend, our personal nemesis, the mirror. Attention is the input, empathy is the output. When you invest attention in others, they will invest empathy under-the-skin understanding in you. Yes, if you wish to impart this critical information, you must talk. But you do have to listen. In a caring way. When you project this level of empathy, it will be returned to you. Their X-ray vision will switch on, and any judgment about your appearance will fade away.

They will develop an attraction of their heart, not an attraction of their eyes.

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Every day a hundred or so self-conscious men and women choose to do just that - submitting their photos to a special section of reddit. Are we as unattractive as we sometimes feel, or is it all in our heads? You might have heard of the condition or even seen awareness-raising campaigns about it. Usually a perfectly reasonable-looking young man or woman is pictured standing in front of a mirror, but reflected back at them will be Jabba the Hut or Gollum or some unflattering beast.

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This is why you look incredible in the mirror, but crap in photos.

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We have spent our lives seeing our faces in the mirror. We have spent our lives seeing our faces in the mirror, and we have become used to seeing our face that way round. Most people part their hair on one side rather than the other. Most people have one eye slightly larger than the other. Most people have one curvier eyebrow and one straighter or pointier.

What we can learn about human nature from the informative, manipulative, confusing, and amusing messages at the bottom of the web. Online comment can be informative or misleading, entertaining or maddening.

Shadi Bartsch. People in the ancient world thought of vision as both an ethical tool and a tactile sense, akin to touch. Gazing upon someone—or oneself—was treated as a path to philosophical self-knowledge, but the question of tactility introduced an erotic element as well. In The Mirror of the Self , Shadi Bartsch asserts that these links among vision, sexuality, and self-knowledge are key to the classical understanding of the self.

Here’s Why You Look Good in the Mirror But Bad in Photos

Registered members submit content to the site such as links, text posts, and images, which are then voted up or down by other members. Posts are organized by subject into user-created boards called "subreddits", which cover a variety of topics like news, science, movies, video games, music, books, fitness, food, and image-sharing. Submissions with more up-votes appear towards the top of their subreddit and, if they receive enough up-votes, ultimately on the site's front page. Despite strict rules prohibiting harassment, Reddit's administrators spend considerable resources on moderating the site.

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It is a question as old as time. Well, not really. And we've been thinking the same thing ever since. I only just asked myself this question over the weekend. I was doing my make up, getting ready to go out and thought "Dayum gurl, you're looking good". I left my house with an air of what I thought was justified confidence.

Likers, Haters, and Manipulators at the Bottom of the Web Joseph M. Reagle Jr. For a more balanced take on “am I ugly?” one can look to Reddit. for posture, exercise, and style (e.g., “you'd look good with Jake Gyllenhaal's haircut”). to study self-esteem by exposing people to mirrors or recordings of themselves.

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Comments: 1
  1. Arashimuro

    It seems magnificent phrase to me is

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