What questions to ask your new boyfriend
An open and honest conversation can help bring you closer together by building trust, mutual understanding and compassion. Communication will bring understanding and understanding will cause harmonious mutual relationships which can establish peace and stability. Understanding is the gateway to compassion and love , and questions allow us to obtain that necessary level of understanding, helping us learn why our partner behaves or thinks a certain way. Have you ever wonder what are the right, deep questions to ask your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, or partner? May they help you realize a deeper understanding, boundless compassion, and open love.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Will Your Relationship Last? 7 Questions You Must Ask Him Now!
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11 Deeply Personal Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Taking Your Relationship To The Next Level
Thinking of questions to ask your boyfriend, girlfriend or partner might not be something you often sit down to do. But if it's a long-lasting and healthy relationship you're looking for, there are certain questions you need to ask your partner to make sure it's going be The Real Deal. We're not talking basic questions like, "What music do you like?
Cosmopolitan UK spoke to Gurpreet Singh and Simone Bose, relationship counsellors at Relate , who explained these are the questions you should be asking your boyfriend, girlfriend or partner to find out if you're truly compatible. These include communication, negotiating and resolving differences, and independence.
Gurpreet suggests asking your partner, " Give me your top five things that are really important to you in life ". Their answers could be anything from career and money, to travel and having a family, and obviously what's important differs between couples.
Of course, you're not looking to be mirror images of each other. But, as Gurpreet says, you "have to have some common value system that unites you. On a simple level, asking your partner what you can do to improve their day is an easy way to show them you care.
Finances are a major topic that need to be discussed, Gurpreet explains. Ask your partner what they think is important to spend money on to make sure you're on the same page. Whether this is splashing out on a Ferrari, or giving to charity, it'll tell you a lot about a person.
You should ask your partner what lies ahead. Talk about whether you'd like to travel, have children, buy a house, get married, move abroad, advance in your career, etc. Asking your partner what they're afraid of gives you a better understanding of them as a person, but it can also give you an opportunity to help them with their fears.
Family values, and talking about them, is super important in a healthy relationship, Gurpreet says. If family is a priority for you but not so much for the other person, it can make things tricky.
While you're discussing family with your partner, ask them their favourite and least favourite childhood memories, says Simone. You should be asking yourself, "Can I have fun with them? Ask them, " What do you do for downtime? Obviously this doesn't have to be the same as what you do. But it gives an important insight into how they spend their time, and what they're passionate about. Take Michelle and Barack Obama, for example.
As do Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. Friends are very telling, and who someone hangs out with is really important, Gurpreet explains. The best way to find out what their friendships are like and centred around, is to ask, " What do you talk about with your friends?
What do you do with them? Are they your support network? It's really important to find out how somebody resolves problems and conflicts in a relationship. Ask them, " If you have an argument with someone close to you, how do you address it? Some people might say that they tell them off, but most would say, "I like to talk to them," or "I try and work it out". Gurpreet says how someone resolves problems gives you an insight into how compatible you are. They might say they storm off, or like to think it through before saying anything, or to talk or breathe it out.
But, remember "an argument can be a good thing," he adds. Asking your partner this question means they can share what would be a dealbreaker for them in a relationship, and it's also really important for setting boundaries. Simone suggests asking your partner to identify another relationship that they admire, whether that's a friend or family member's relationship, or someone else they know.
Plus, if your partner doesn't respond well to being asked personal questions, this is a great way to get them to open up without putting too much focus on themselves.
Independence in a relationship is super important, too. You can use their answers to get to know them more deeply. How they spend the time on their own is really important," Gurpreet adds. It can work if they both accept each other's faith, or lack of, and therefore their independence. Couples don't need to be exactly the same to work, he explains.
It may sound silly, but Gurpreet says this one will give you a LOT of insight into someone's personality and values. He explains, "It's about authenticity and honesty. Their willingness to access support at a time of vulnerability, either individually as a couple, is important to find out. And it's vulnerability which gives you an opportunity to truly connect with someone. You should feel understood by the person you are with, Gurpreet says. It gives you an insight into what about you they are gravitating towards.
Similarly, Simone suggests asking, "Which features do you love the most about me? Simone also suggests asking your partner, "When am I most attractive to you? Put the ball in your partner's court and ask them what they would like to be asked, suggests Simone. This can also open up a conversation about each of your Love Languages , adds Simone. For relationship advice, support, or counselling - either as an individual or a couple - visit Relate's website or find your nearest Relate service and give them a call.
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