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My boyfriends depression affecting your relationship

These forums are a place where you can ask other young people advice on dealing with tough times and share your advice on what has worked for you. Please remember that it does not replace professional advice. Join the online community Login to post. I have been with my partner for a year, and although all relationships have their ups and downs I can honestly say we have had the greatest year, with love, laughter, great holidays, understanding and support and open communication about everything. I knew my partner used to speak to someone a few years ago but that is all I knew, I also have gotten professional help once for some life direction at a time where I was a little lost but I was never clinically depressed or anxious. I assumed he meant the same thing.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Is Depression Destroying Your Relationship? Ten Commonly Overlooked Symptoms of Depression

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Dr. Denney - Male Depression

The Warning Signs That Depression is Affecting Your Relationship

No one teaches us how to navigate a relationship when mental illness enters the equation. I recently read a Washington Post article by a woman whose relationship was torn apart while she and her partner tried to deal with his depression. Last year when I plunged into a depressive episode, my partner was at a loss. He had never dealt with this and wanted so badly to help, but had no idea what to do. Sure we hit bumps along the road, but in the end I felt loved, supported, and understood in a way I never had during a depressive episode, and he felt like he knew what was going on — a big deal in this situation — and was equipped to deal with it.

Our experience inspired this list of 5 ways to grow together rather than apart when navigating through depressive episodes with your partner:. It operates on the notion that the not-depressed partner is wonderful and selfless for standing by the partner with depression. They should therefore feel so lucky their partner is generously taking them on — ergo, broken and lucky. Listening more than you talk. Trusting each other. Learning about what depression is.

Being open to communicating differently. Getting angry at them for not showing up for you the same way they did before a depressive episode struck is like getting mad at your dog for not being ice cream ——futile, frustrating, and kind of mean.

One of the first things I taught my partner was the Spoon Theory. Created by Christine Miserandino who I consider the patron saint of folks with chronic invisible ailments , the Spoon Theory gave my partner a concrete understanding of my limited physical, mental, and emotional resources, as well as a simple language with which to ask about them.

The other resource that we found most helpful in understanding the unique language around depression was, well, a video game! When my partner first played it, he called me, sounding shaken. I told him yes, and he admitted that depression was so much harder, scarier, and more frustrating than it looks from the outside. Depression looks different from person to person and even from episode to episode, but I have never seen anything else evoke the feelings of depression the way that game does.

Then repeat. A lot. Do you need me to bring you anything before I go? I was lucky heading into my last episode of depression, because I am an introvert in a long distance relationship with a pretty intense extrovert, so we were already used to socializing separately. This is especially true for partners who live together.

You may need to discuss this idea with your partner if separate socializing is new for you, but ultimately, this can lift a whole lot of strain off of you both of you and give you each much-needed self-care time.

This is a lot of work for one person and you are doing some serious heavy lifting in this relationship. What about when you need someone to be your soft landing place and during a period of time when your partner just CANNOT do it?

Make sure you have your own support network. Hopefully your partner has a therapist, and you may want to consider one for yourself. Overall, when it comes to navigating depression together, think about what will make you each stronger.

When we talk about depression and relationships, we tend to talk about frustration, anger, and confusion. I firmly believe getting on the same page with one another can remedy a whole lot of that, because I believe people have more capacity for empathy and mutual support than we give them credit for.

This guest article originally appeared on YourTango. Find help or get online counseling now. Our experiment worked! One comment:. Psych Central. All rights reserved.

Hot Topics Today 1. Toxic Childhood? Anxiety is a Physical Experience.

Tips for Coping With Depression in a Relationship

It's Mental Health Awareness Week and we're looking at people's experiences of mental health issues - their own and those of their loved ones. Here, our writer describes her boyfriend's struggle with depression - and the toll it took on her. I met Liam the way many modern romances start.

It is an active noun, like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now. And since the love you feel for others is a reflection of the love you feel for yourself, this is why you feel disconnected.

Copyright Shannon Kolakowski. If your relationship is struggling, depression may be the culprit. A resounding body of research has shown how closely depression is related to relationships in a cyclical fashion: depression affects the quality of your relationships, and the features of your relationship can affect your level of depression 1 , 2 , 3. In other words, being depressed can cause you to pay less attention to your partner, be less involved, be more irritable or have trouble enjoying time together—all of which can cause your relationship to falter.

5 Ways to Grow Together When Depression Enters a Relationship

Relationships are hard enough without the added challenges of severe depression , but relationships are also one of the most powerful opportunities for individual and cooperative growth. Relationships have been known to turn people inside-out, uncovering shadows and challenging individuals to be vulnerable enough to trust another. When someone in a relationship has depression, it can intensify the experiences even more, making vulnerability and trust especially challenging. When people get close to each other in a relationship and severe depression is present, emotions and conflicts can become volatile as the depressed individual tends toward self-doubt and criticism. But a relationship is not a lost cause even when depression is present, because major depression is manageable with the right help. And there are ways to keep things in perspective and grow even closer as partners through the challenges that arise. Someone with serious depression may have a hard time not taking things personally, and pessimism and conflict can easily spiral out of control. The filter of depression can also distort feelings, thoughts, actions, and habits. It takes a lot of energy to sustain a relationship in the first place—physical, mental, and emotional energy. So, in addition to moodiness and irritability, an individual with depression may simply lack the energy and the interest to participate authentically.

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If you are in a relationship with someone who has depression, you are likely struggling with a mix of emotions and hosts of questions. What's it really like to feel depressed? What can you do to help them through hard times? How will their symptoms and treatment impact your relationship?

My boyfriend, John, and I have been together for close to a year.

During my last year of college, I found myself picking my split ends constantly. A friend of mine asked me how I felt when I did it. That's when it hit me: My relationship was hurting my mental health. I didn't feel like I could talk about my anger, so it came out in trichotillomania, or obsessive hair-picking.

7 Signs Your Relationship Is Taking A Toll On Your Mental Health

Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear. My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s, and we recently moved in together after being in a long-distance relationship for four years.

Depression is a difficult illness that darkens your thoughts and feelings. It saps your self-esteem, energy, motivation and interest in anything. Symptoms such as anger and irritability can create tension between partners. Depression is a master manipulator. You might have more negative thoughts about your partner and your relationship, she says.

Dear Therapist: My Boyfriend’s Depression Is Making Me Question Our Future Together

No one teaches us how to navigate a relationship when mental illness enters the equation. I recently read a Washington Post article by a woman whose relationship was torn apart while she and her partner tried to deal with his depression. Last year when I plunged into a depressive episode, my partner was at a loss. He had never dealt with this and wanted so badly to help, but had no idea what to do. Sure we hit bumps along the road, but in the end I felt loved, supported, and understood in a way I never had during a depressive episode, and he felt like he knew what was going on — a big deal in this situation — and was equipped to deal with it. Our experience inspired this list of 5 ways to grow together rather than apart when navigating through depressive episodes with your partner:. It operates on the notion that the not-depressed partner is wonderful and selfless for standing by the partner with depression.

If your partner suffers from depression, try these 5 tips to grow together, rather than apart, during a depressive episode.

Breaking up is never easy. Breaking up when your partner is struggling with a psychiatric disorder can be downright painful. But there comes a time in every relationship when it may be necessary to evaluate your options and make difficult choices. No one wants to be accused of abandoning a loved one at their time of greatest need.

Depression in Relationships: When to Say Goodbye

Anyone can be affected by depression and anxiety — even children. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America found that generalized anxiety disorder affects 6. It is difficult to live with depression.

How Anxiety and Depression May Affect Your Relationships

Depression affects one in five people in the UK and is an illness that, thankfully, people are beginning to understand better as awareness grows. Less understood, however, are the ways in which depression can affect relationships and how your relationships can help you manage depression. Strong and healthy relationships have the potential to help us cope with the symptoms of depression - and, in some circumstances, can be a big influence on whether a person becomes depressed.

Karen S. She no longer enjoyed her favorite activities, preferring to spend weekends sleeping in and watching TV.

If you are depressed your relationship can also become depressed. Depression can wreak havoc on your ability to experience and maintain intimacy within your relationship. Being depressed can illicit feelings of worthlessness; depression can affect moods, thoughts and behaviours, and even physical health. Regardless of what we are going through, the need for connection is deeply rooted in all of us since conception; therefore we continue to gravitate towards connection even if we are depressed. Living with depression, and trying to maintain healthy relationships can become draining.

How Depression Damages Your Relationship & What You Can Do

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5 Signs That Depression Is Eroding Your Relationship

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Comments: 3
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  3. Samulkree

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