How to get someone to like you as a friend
Sometimes, you and the person just click, and you immediately become joined at the hip. So I reached out to a few experts to get tips on how to build deeper friendships. Below are some ways to bond with a friend, any friend, so that you guys can get one step closer to calling each other besties. One of the best things about having friends is having someone to celebrate all of the good stuff with. But one of the best things about having good friends is having someone you can go to with the bad stuff, too. If you want to become closer to someone, you need to learn to open up to them.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: The One Thing That Will Make Everyone Like You
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 3 Quick Ways To Make People Like YouContent:
- 17 psychological tricks to make people like you immediately
- 10 Simple Ways to Make People Like You More
- 13 Friend Zone Hacks: How to Get Your Friend to Like You More
- How to Get Someone to Like You: The 3 Most Effective Ways
- How to Make Someone Like You
- How to Become Close Friends With Anyone
- What you should do if you find yourself falling for a friend
17 psychological tricks to make people like you immediately
Last updated on February 12, Scientists at Stony Brook University in New York have designed a method where 2 strangers were able to become close friends in less than 60 minutes. What researchers call the Fast Friends procedure 1 will not only help you build deep relationships quickly, it also helps you know what to say next in a conversation. Professionals such as police, interrogators, and psychologists have learned how to build trust and befriend a stranger rapidly based on these findings.
This means the procedure is perfect to use when meeting someone over a cup of coffee, while traveling, or at a party.
You could even use this method on people that you have known for a long time already to strengthen your existing friendship. Different variations of the original experiment have shown that the Fast Friends questions are even successful in creating cross-cultural friendships 2 and increasing intimacy within a couple.
During this next meeting, the couple is asked to do the same thing they did last time, but with a different set of 36 questions. Like last time, the questions increase in intimacy as you go through the deck. It should take about an hour to answer all of the questions. The interactions between the two when they see each other again are examined, and participants can now ask for contact information from their partner.
More often than not, participants wanted to keep in touch with their partner and see them again after the experiment was over. If you came into this experiment to make a real friend, you were almost guaranteed to leave with one. Efficient, right? The first set of 12 questions the researchers used were shallow and basically scratched the surface to get the participants to warm up to each other:. The second set of 12 questions used were to let the participants become better friends in a less superficial way:.
The last set of 12 is where the real friendship building happens. The key to using the Fast Friends procedure is to ask intentional questions from the start, disclose information about yourself to the other to establish trust, and then dig deeper to get to the good stuff.
In the lab, participants read questions from a set of cards. In the real world, you have to come up with relevant questions on the fly throughout your ongoing conversation. Remember that the Fast Friends procedure works because of its progressive nature. Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your unique personality and goals.
Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond - in less than an hour. First, ask something that is slightly personal. For example, say that your friend is talking about an unpleasant phone call he or she recently had to make. If your questions become too personal too quickly they might be perceived as unpleasant, probing and scary, so take your time and trust the process.
After about 30 minutes of talking, you can start asking about deeper matters. Give them the time to ask you follow up questions, too. If the conversation is going well, you can ask even more personal questions. The Fast Friends procedure works because it mimics the way that relationships actually develop. Read more: How to make any conversation interesting. If you want to improve your social skills, self-confidence, and ability to connect with someone, you can take our 1-minute quiz.
To get a deeper understanding of how the method works, we asked one of the developers of this procedure, Dr. When entering a new social group i. Generally, people like to talk about themselves, and they will appreciate that you want to know more about them.
The two things to remember, though, is that not everyone is the same, and there is a big difference between interacting with a stranger than interacting with a friend. In my research, some people become stressed during the first Fast Friends session, although pretty much everyone becomes comfortable by the second time they do the Fast Friends with another person.
For the most part, people like to be asked about themselves, especially with questions that are somewhat unique and quirky! The Fast Friends procedure is effective because it mimics the way friendships develop naturally. When you first meet someone, you move beyond mere strangers by getting to know one another. The other person may tell you a little bit more about themselves, then you respond in kind by telling them a little more about you, and the process continues back-and-forth like that.
The Fast Friends procedure just formalizes and accelerates this process! Related : My reviews of the 21 best books on how to make friends. So, you want to use the fast friends procedure in real life?
What is wrong with me? Everyone else seems content with social media or the occasional hello or dinner- i want a community where people drop by and call and talk and laugh without having to go to a structured social media event. Where us my tribe? I would like to try this method, but I have real problems with knowing the limits of what may be considered too personal and am constantly afraid of making situations worse, that I would be too reluctant to proceed. Instead I stay quiet, closed or reserved, leading to people seeing me as aloof or stand-ofish and then avoiding the awkwardness of trying to communicate with me.
Any suggestions about how to deal with this? Hi George, Exactly! It is rare to find another individual that reciprocates with questions…. I guess we just keep trying and hope that we meet up with that one person that is actually interested in what we have to say as well. All knowledge is great…some in theory only…but will keep trying! Thank you David for passing on the links regarding dealing with friends that only talk about themselves. Again…I appreciate you responding to our comments and thank you for passing on additional helpful hints!!
How do you develop that sense? You will develop that sense with more experience in conversations, especially once your stress levels in social interactions start lowering.
Personally I have trouble understanding if am really making friends. Because right now was the first month in my new entered school and I feel anxious because am still not close or even more like friends with my classmates except seven of my like close friends I guess. HA I am terribly sorry I know this question isnt paid or anything. And not sure if anyone will answer this but thanks anyways. Try applying the general principle, of asking gradually more personal questions and sharing equally.
If they reciprocate you can get more personal. You can also let this process happen over a longer time depending on the situation. I am very excited to try this at my school. Would it also work on entire friend groups of 3 people? If so, how? Would you text this questions to someone or in person? In person is best but sometimes you do not get that chance in person. Some suggestions please.
Even though it may seem more confrontational, it is actually more comfortable and is perceived as less psychopath-y when the person you are speaking to can hear your voice. I think this is a great way for people that would be rather shy, like my younger self, or isolated from social experience to get to know other people.
Hi David, do you have the link to the 36 Questions? Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Last updated on February 12, Scientists at Stony Brook University in New York have designed a method where 2 strangers were able to become close friends in less than 60 minutes. Part 2: Creating intimacy During this next meeting, the couple is asked to do the same thing they did last time, but with a different set of 36 questions. Part 3: Friends or just friendly?
Some of the questions that the researchers used: The first set of 12 questions the researchers used were shallow and basically scratched the surface to get the participants to warm up to each other: Would you like to be famous? In what way? When did you last sing to yourself or to someone else? The second set of 12 questions used were to let the participants become better friends in a less superficial way: What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
What is your most terrible memory? If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? If you were guaranteed honest responses to any three questions, who would you question and what would you ask?
Do you believe in any sort of God? If not, do you think you might still pray if you were in a life-threatening situation? Article continues below Remember to reveal as many personal things about yourself as your friend is disclosing. You can even switch the order of the questions like in the original experiment and start off by revealing something personal about you and then asking the person a related personal question.
If you reveal personal things first, your friend should become more comfortable opening up to you. Ashley Marino. Link didn t get sent to my e-mail Reply. Great article! Thanks in advance! Thanks, updated the link! For the whole list Reply. Hope I helped!!
10 Simple Ways to Make People Like You More
But the experience of clicking is unforgettable. Everything the other person says resonates with you. Your speech rhythms match. Conversation flows like rushing water, unimpeded by a single awkward silence and unruffled by even a moment of annoyance, puzzlement, or misunderstanding: the social equivalent of a flawless, gold-medal ski run. The experience of clicking can seem, in short, near-miraculous…which is just the sort of challenge neuroscientists like.
Be in good spirits, smile, and be interested in what they like. You just need to be yourself! It makes you appear dishonest. One of the most important aspects of getting people to like you is to be genuine, real, and honest.
13 Friend Zone Hacks: How to Get Your Friend to Like You More
In fact, not many people know how to do it. You know them the best. This gives you so many opportunities to squeeze your way past that friendship barrier and get them to like you. I get how irritating it can be. You have to think about so much more than if they just say yes or no. Or about anyone they used to or still do like. This also sends the message that you hope to be one of those people someday.
How to Get Someone to Like You: The 3 Most Effective Ways
But sometimes you want to make an effort to befriend a new acquaintance or become a better friend to existing pals. Using tricks and techniques like mirroring , subliminal touching , smiling , and letting that other person talk about themselves can make you appear more likable. We scoured the psychological research on the science of attraction to find strategies to get people to like you. This strategy is called "mirroring" and it involves subtly mimicking the other person's behavior. When talking to someone, try copying their body language, gestures, and facial expressions.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter! Whether you want to get someone to like you as a friend or as a potential love interest, there are many things that you can do to make that happen. You do have to be willing to make an effort if you want to get a certain person to like you. If you want to find out how to make someone like you, you can read some of the tips below and learn where to start.
How to Make Someone Like You
Updated: March 29, References. Wanting to be liked is a natural instinct. Wanting to have a best friend is also something that most people desire. The problem is, not everyone knows how to do this.
It's not entirely in your control whether someone likes you or not, but you can positively influence their decision. Increase the chances of someone liking you—whether a new friend or a romantic interest—by smiling and being of good cheer when you're around them. It's also a good idea to find out their interests and get them talking. No matter what, be sure to be yourself. If they can't like you for who you are, they're not worth the effort anyway! To get someone to like you, start by smiling when you see them.
How to Become Close Friends With Anyone
Maybe it's their goofy smile; maybe it's their razor-sharp wit; or maybe it's simply that they're easy to be around. You just like them. But scientists generally aren't satisfied with answers like that, and they've spent years trying to pinpoint the exact factors that draw one person to another. Below, we've rounded up some of their most intriguing findings. Read on for insights that will cast your current friendships in a new light — and will help you form better relationships, faster. This strategy is called mirroring, and involves subtly mimicking another person's behavior. When talking to someone, try copying their body language, gestures, and facial expressions.
This post is in partnership with Inc. The article below was originally published at Inc. Have you noticed there are people who always seem to be more likable? In a recent episode of the new ABC drama Mind Games , one of the characters mentions an interesting personality trait that defines the most popular people: they more readily admit their weaknesses rather than waiting for them to be revealed over time. Ask questions.
What you should do if you find yourself falling for a friend
But, what if we told you there are ways you can make someone like you? Smiling is a comfort for many people and shows a more relaxed and pleasant side to your personality. Just a simple action, like a smile, can go a long way.