Getting rid of friends
By the time we reach our 50s and 60s, we find our lives filled with an eclectic collection of friends and acquaintances. Some of us still stay in touch with people we knew as children. Most of us have at least a few high school or college buddies. We have work friends and social acquaintances, poker buddies and professional contacts.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Letting Go: Toxic Friendships
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 10 Signs You Have a Toxic FriendContent:
- 15 Types of Friends You Should Get Rid Of Immediately
- 5 Reasons You Need to Get Rid of All Your Negative Friends
- 6 Types Of Friends You Should Finally Get Rid Of
- 7 questions to ask yourself to decide whether or not you need to break up with a close friend
- The Types Of Friends Everyone Should Get Rid Of In Midlife
- I Got Rid of Toxic Friends (and You Should Too)
- How Do I Get Rid of a Clingy Friend?
- 3 Tips for Dealing with a Toxic Friendship
- 3 ways to end a toxic friendship
15 Types of Friends You Should Get Rid Of Immediately
So the undeniable question we are all asking is: How do I get rid of a toxic friend? Maybe your attachment to them is even making you deny how much their presence affects you. It can help to know the signs of a toxic friendship so you can be sure that the relationship is no good. Occasional constructive criticism from a friend can be helpful, but frequent, harsh criticism is not beneficial in any way.
Friends who are always stressed out, depressed, or angry are taxing to be around. Then you can figure out the best way to end the friendship and move on. But you need to start accepting that letting them go is for the best. Take the Dark Triad test here! One good way to tell if a friend is negatively affecting your mental health is to have them take a test called the Dark Triad quiz.
It assigns the person 3 different percentile numbers based on the way they answer. Narcissism : A higher than average sense of self. If someone scores high on Narcissism, they probably care about themselves more than you, in all areas. Machiavellianism : The trait of deceitfulness and manipulation. If someone scores high on Machiavellianism, they probably "use" you to accomplish their goals. Psychopathy : If someone seems always emotionally distant, they probably show Psychopathy.
This doesn't mean they're a psychopath, but that they have difficulty showing and expressing their emotions good and bad. The best way to end a friendship is to sit down with them and tell them you need to end it. This gives them the opportunity to fully understand the situation. Before you have the talk, plan out what you want to say.
Not necessarily word-for-word, just the general ideas you want to express. Planning out what you want to say beforehand will help you organise your thoughts so that you can focus on your feelings and not drift into picking them apart.
Just give them the basics, especially if your friend has a tendency to be verbally abusive. If they do get angry and insult you, do your best to hold yourself together emotionally. People who say hurtful things to you are often hoping to get a response out of you. You need to focus on your needs.
If you were driven to the realization that the friendship was toxic and felt sure enough to plan out how you were going to end it, it was the right decision to make. As in romantic relationships, a clean break is more likely to stick and is easier to get through.
Then you can mourn the friendship and start moving on without constant reminders of them popping up or having them contact you to try and get you to change your mind. Just cut all ties and let it be done. Slowly making yourself less and less available until they lose interest in you is a commonly used method, or cutting ties abruptly and all at once.
Not to mention, both of these are hurtful. They may be more likely to cooperate. You can get your thoughts organized, express what you need to, and break off the friendship without being interrupted or challenged. Follow the same outline as for the in-person talk: keep it about your feelings, not their shortcomings; be respectful; be clear. However you choose to end your toxic friendship, it will probably be difficult.
You can then focus on the friends that are good for you and will have time in your life to welcome new ones. Removing even just one source of negativity can make a huge impact, and filling that space with positive influences will make it easier not to look back.
5 Reasons You Need to Get Rid of All Your Negative Friends
Sign up here to get advice and true stories about mental health in your inbox every week. Breaking up with a friend can be even harder than breaking up with a lover, says Sharon Saline, a Massachusetts-based psychologist and lecturer at Smith College School for Social Work who has experience as both dumper and dumpee. It's often harder because we expect those relationships to last. Of course, it pays to take time and think about whether a friendship is worth taking some serious effort to mend.
Just like romantic relationships fizzle, so too can friendships. What attracts you to others is merely a reflection of what you see in yourself. They were comfortable with the pushover version of me — the girl who agreed and took part in their unfair judgmental commentary about other people, who enjoyed reveling in gossip , who loved to party and wake up hungover regularly, and who was okay neglecting her responsibilities for the sake of having a good time. Our togetherness reinforced our individual behaviors. We were all stuck, and we all needed to cleanse ourselves of one another - I simply made the first move.
6 Types Of Friends You Should Finally Get Rid Of
Passionate love that can turn toxic and sour or even just Friendships are also complex dances that can end in tears and breakups. If some of your connections just don't feel right anymore, you might be wondering how to know when to end a friendship. Sometimes, you're just at different places in your lives, which itself can be benign. Other times, there are almost daily, blazing red flags for gaslighting, disrespectful, and toxic friendships. It's not your responsibility to take on all the work of a relationship yourself. When your attempts at communication keep failing, it helps to know the types of friends you should get rid of. Of course, that doesn't mean that you can't have ups, downs, and straight-up fights with your besties.
7 questions to ask yourself to decide whether or not you need to break up with a close friend
When we were younger, it was much easier to make friends. But as we get older, friendships become more complex and fostering healthy friendships takes a little more effort than it used to. And finding authentically good friends can be hard to find. One of the reasons for this is that we seek something more from friendships than we did when we were younger.
We all have friends that we tolerate. Maybe we think they will change? Either way, any of the friends listed below should be kicked to the curb because they are a waste of time. The person who constantly says that they will pay you back—and they do sometimes—but most of the time you are left with an empty wallet.
The Types Of Friends Everyone Should Get Rid Of In Midlife
Not all friendships are built to last. You may find yourself in a situation where you need to get rid of an unwanted friend. Breaking up with a friend is not so different from breaking up with a romantic partner. You may choose to distance yourself gradually or make a quick, clean break.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Why I Got Rid of Most of My Friends
Despite what the Spice Girls would have us believe, it's not true that friendship never ends. Research actually confirms what we've all experienced: Most middle school friendships don't even last a year. And while some adult friendships last throughout life, some make us feel like we've been sentenced for life. So how do you know when to make a break for freedom? Sometimes it's obvious: A so-called friend steals your money or your partner, or in the case of Taylor Swift , your back-up dancers. Now we've got bad blood, indeed.
I Got Rid of Toxic Friends (and You Should Too)
So the undeniable question we are all asking is: How do I get rid of a toxic friend? Maybe your attachment to them is even making you deny how much their presence affects you. It can help to know the signs of a toxic friendship so you can be sure that the relationship is no good. Occasional constructive criticism from a friend can be helpful, but frequent, harsh criticism is not beneficial in any way. Friends who are always stressed out, depressed, or angry are taxing to be around.
Find out more about cookies and your privacy in our policy. If you want to make it work, check out our guide to dealing with a toxic friendship for some tips. A lot of people find, though, that with a little time and patience, friendships can grow stronger after moving through hard times together. This method involves sitting down with the person and letting them know that the friendship is over.
How Do I Get Rid of a Clingy Friend?
3 Tips for Dealing with a Toxic Friendship
3 ways to end a toxic friendship